Loss Part 2

After having laid my Mother to rest in April, I find myself yet in an ocean of grief surrounded by people who just cant understand that this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to face.

My father, Dalton, left us on July 16, 2010. Dad was an alcoholic, and after we lost Mom, he never found himself. I guess we were all lost, but he found refuge in a bottle. I found my peace with my Son, friends and others in my life who made sure I ate, attempted sleep, and tried to get back to normalcy as quickly as possible.

I can't say that losing my father was any easier than saying goodbye to my Mother. I held his had the last 20 minutes or so of his life. I was there when he took his last labored breath and fell quiet.

My cousin Tiffany was on her way to the hospital, and I had Mike call her and tell her not to come it was too late. She continued anyway, and I know she did this for me. When I heard that she was on her way still, I did wierd things. I straightened Dad's sheets, I closed his eyes, and even attempted to close his mouth. For some reason I was trying to protect her from any unpleasantness.

I felt stronger this time then I did with my Mom, but maybe it was because I had to be. My father wasnt even cold yet, and already the fighting had begun. I received anonymous text messages, demanding to know where I was when my Father drank himself to death. I was getting forwarded messages from my Brother, from family in Tennessee. They were demanding that we get right to work on cleaning out Dad's house then threatening to have the police called if we did. All of the sudden people were asking for this or that. My parents were more than stuff to me. I removed the pictures and home movies from thier home. The rest of the things there, are just that.....things. I guess if people who have approached me with things like, "Hey, I loved your father, and I would really like something to remind me of him." Or, hey last year I bought your father a new reel and we went fishing together, if you don't have any plans for it, Id like it as a keepsake." But instead, I was hit with, "Hey, since your Dad wont be using his Air Conditioner, do you think I could have it?" Sentences that started with "The only thing I really want is....." made me furious. (If it was something my father had in his possesssion and was borrowing, this is different, by all means, take whatever is yours.)

I think most of my family can fall under one word, INSENSITIVE. I just lost both my parents in 3 months time, they left no wills, no nothing. I have 2 estates to settle a mountain of medical and back tax bills, and I dont even know where to begin. But I have people on my ass already, demanding to know what I am going to do. I would advise sitting quietly and letting me handle mine. Keep the threats and the demands to yourself, or I will be more than happy to drag this out in probate as long as possible.