How to Get Away With Murder.

Murder is wrong. Murder is bad. Don't Murder!

However, if you don't take my advice, and you must take someones life, here are some simple things you should avoid.

10. Don't take your hair brush to the murder and leave it there.

9. Dont buy Duct Tape, Tarp, Rope, and an Area Rug alone on one receipt and pay with your Visa Card.

8. Should you not be able to overcome your desire for convenience and one stop shopping, PAY CASH.

7. Throw away the damn receipt. Don't leave it on your kitchen table when the cops come aknockin.

6. Dont use your garbage bags. They can patern match that stuff, you idiot! Buy a new box of Heftys, throw leftovers away. Not at your house.

5. Dont bury your spouse in your basement, throw the jackhammered old basement floor on your friends property, and claim you were framed.

4. Don't bury or leave someones remains on property that belongs to you. Especially if said victim is a relative.

3. Dont put wierd orange carpet in your house that was only sold to you and one other tasteless person on the entire planet. Should you not be able to resist orange carpet, take a lint brush to your victim, before leaving them to decompose.

2. Wear gloves. Dispose of gloves. Don't leave one behind, or reuse them for yard work.

1. And the NUMBER 1, dont do it is: Dont wear the same Nike's you murdered someone in to your police interview. Cops notice this sort of thing. Should that be your only pair of shoes, be advised, you will either leave the cop shop shoeless, if you leave at all.

Ill leave you with one random thought. Why dont murderers wear Addidas, or Pumas? Why is Nike the shoe of choice?